Compassion. Yeah, so we are talking about compassion. So, compassion is the method. So, the wisdom, we must use the thoughts, we must use the mind in order to use the method. So, it’s very important. Sorry, the mind is the wisdom. The method is compassion. Without the method, the wisdom is completely useless. So how to put in action the compassion? The same way we take joy in ourselves, “Oh, I want to buy new clothes. I want to buy a new Macintosh. I want to buy a new car; I want to eat chocolate; I want to eat good food; I want to sleep in a comfy bed; I want a beautiful partner.” All these things that we think will make us happy, that will bring us temporary joy, that kind of mental concept. Instead of putting it to ourselves, we should start putting it to others. That’s step number one.
How to do that, right? First, stop feeling so sorry for ourselves. I think it is important and start feeling sorrier for other people. Because we tend to judge a lot, for example, we judge so much. Wow, I mean, as humans we kind of maybe even enjoy judging, I think. I think it is possible. We like to gossip. Oh, this person said this, and this person did that. Oh my god, what do you think, blah, blah, blah. OK, the best example is Trump. Trump is such a good gossip; everybody likes to criticize. But what about compassion. Does anyone have compassion for Trump?
But I think Trump, he suffers so much. And he’s going to suffer so much more because he’s creating the conditions to suffer so much more. But do we think about that? No. We only tend to judge. Maybe it’s not human nature but we do think it is human nature because it is so like systematically put into our habits. But one of the things about judging, why we enjoy judging so much is because it makes us not have to focus so much on ourselves.
We don’t have to check ourselves so much anymore when we say, “Oh, this person did this, or that person did that,” we don’t have to look at ourselves. It is easy to be kind of like, forget about me, I’m perfect. But we don’t really have the right to judge anyone because we don’t know anyone, we don’t even know ourselves. I mean, if we knew ourselves, we would know how we would react to certain circumstances in the future. If something happened to us, how would we react?
What if we suddenly became a millionaire how would we react? If we get a certain sickness, how would we react? If we lose a leg, how would we react? We don’t know how we would react. We have an idea, a concept, but when it happens, how we start to react, then we start to really learn about ourselves. We are learning and knowing ourselves every day. So, we don’t even know ourselves, how can we even think that we know other people, and that we have the right to judge them. Come on, be realistic.
So, yeah, it’s very easy to judge because we don’t want to look at ourselves. We don’t want to have to judge ourselves. You know many people don’t like to take criticism, but I think criticism is good. You know the best friends are the people who criticize you to your face and talk good things about you behind your back. Those are the real friends.
And that’s what we should do. We should really be good friends, starting from, to ourselves and to other people. We should start criticizing ourselves more. Not in a bad way; not like being heavy with ourselves and regretting and all this. No, it’s more about just moving on and saying, “OK, I did this wrong, I have to think about it and I have to recognize it and use this mistake in order to not repeat it but to improve, to move on, to become a better human being.” I mean, that is the whole purpose, right? What’s the purpose in life? To learn, to improve, to help.
For us, our purpose many times it’s to be happy. I mean that is, kind of, a way, but how do you reach happiness? It’s a little bit like the concept of the donkey going after the carrot. You know, the stick with the carrot and the donkey going after it all the time and we never reach there. Maybe instead of searching for happiness, we can start searching for non-unhappiness. Maybe that’s easier. Maybe we start to be not unhappy and we create the conditions to maybe start to be happy.
How to be not unhappy is to maybe to start to focus on other people and to try to have compassion for them. Try to not judge them so much; try to talk good things about them; to try to maybe value more positiveness than negativeness.
It tends to happen a lot, when we turn on the news, it’s more interesting to see bad things than good things, sometimes. In society, that’s how it is, the good things, they’re not so viral but the bad things are more viral. Not so much, but sometimes it is. If you have, let’s say, a football game, a rugby game, a golf game, a basketball game, all these different sports going on and everybody is watching the sports and then suddenly a fight breaks out. Everybody is going to want to watch the fight, nobody is looking at their games. Everybody is looking at the fight and going, “Oh, what’s going on? What’s happening?”
We have this tendency of being attracted to this concept of negativity. You know a mother who raised her children by herself and put them through university, a single mother, will she make headlines in the newspaper? Difficult. But a mother that killed her son in one instant of rage, she will make headlines. “Mother kills her son,” everybody is going to be talking about her. But the mother who raised children for twenty years by herself working two jobs, cooking for them and putting them through university and all this every day, every day, for twenty years. Is she going to make headlines? I don’t know. I mean, why? Why is that? Why is it not important, the positiveness?
Sometimes it’s like, for example, I have a friend, his parents were very liberal. They always gave him a lot of space, anything he wanted to do, they supported him one hundred percent, they never hit him, never. But his mother slapped him one time and he remembers that clear, so clear, and he even speaks about it still. “Oh, yeah. I remember when my mother slapped me.” It’s like, come on man. Why is that so important? It just happened in one second, one time. Why does that stay so strong in your mind?
We give so much importance to negativity. Why don’t we just switch that around? If we gave so much importance to positiveness, and negativeness we just try to forget, unless we are learning from it or using it as a tool, then in the end what is really going to matter is the positiveness. The negativeness is going to slowly disappear; it’s going to become insignificant, unless of course we are using it as a tool.
Every day, every moment in life is an opportunity to learn and improve. All the time. It is always there, we’re always here, it’s always now, right now. And it’s always been now. It’s always the same day. It’s just the earth going around the sun. It’s always the same day; it’s day and night, day and night. It’s the same day, it’s the same life. And it’s changing all the time. I mean time doesn’t really exist. It is change what exists. And what is change? It’s vibration, it’s movement. The scientists call it oxidation. We are dying, but we are not dying, we are living. It’s movement, it’s vibration. If there was no movement, we would be stuck like ice. We would be statues.