Many times, people say, “It’s destiny, the universe already decided everything. I have no choice.” So that is a very easy way of thinking. Sometimes even the Buddhists say, “Oh it’s your karma. It’s my karma.” They justify like that. And then also there’s a part of guilt: It’s your fault. It’s my fault. We feel guilty. So, you must differentiate-there is no fault, it’s not like, oh, it’s your fault. It just happens like that based on your intention. So, if you feel guilty in the end, it doesn’t really help. You can’t change anything with guiltiness. You know, it’s nobody’s fault. You just must take responsibility, and then if it doesn’t work out, at least you learn, use it as a tool to improve. But if you’re like, “I did a mistake. It’s my fault. I feel guilty,” then all you’re doing is wasting your time; you’re making yourself suffer. Maybe a little bit is OK so that next time you don’t do it, but don’t overdo it this: Oh, poor me, I can’t do it. I don’t have the etc. That kind of mentality is very counterproductive. So, there’s no need to feel guilty; just feel responsible. If you made that choice, you take the responsibility. And the next time, you take the responsibility. No excuses.
For example, if you are late to work, the boss doesn’t care. You can come up with a hundred excuses, your boss doesn’t care. All he cares is that you are on time, and you do your job properly. If you go and you’re like, “Oh no, there was a lot of traffic”, “Oh today, in the shower, this happened. I fell down.” Or this and this, the boss is going to tell you, “It’s not my concern, you are wasting my time, I don’t care. I don’t care why you’re late. Next time, be on time, and if it happens too much, I’m going to fire you.” It’s a little bit like that. This guilty feeling is a little bit like that; it’s useless. If you are late to work, you should say, “I’m sorry I’m late”, and you take the responsibility. And then you have maybe two more chances to be late, but you know that the third time, you’ll be fired. You take the responsibility, then instead of three possibilities, now you only have two. But by feeling guilty, you’re not really accomplishing anything. Is it good? Is it helpful?
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