So, one of the things that Dharma gives us, which is very important, is it helps us to be able to adapt positively to any circumstance. We can do it but, many times, we give way to stress, give way to that small mind. We give so much importance to it, we get so stressed, so agitated, so disturbed, so this, so that but it is just extra weight you are putting on yourself.

That happens every day, in many aspects like road rage. I do not know about road rage, maybe just a little bit. When I came to America, I realized it is a big, big thing here. I mean, Europe, also, but normally people, I don’t know… I think there is a lot of traffic in America. Many, many cars- some time, each family has five cars. Two parents, three kids, you have five cars. Of course, that is probably because the public transport system does not work very well. Anyway, I did not mean to talk about that.

We like to put things in boxes because we like to feel like we are in control but we are not even in control of what is happening in our body. We cannot even control that. How do we expect to control the outside world?

Many times, people think this- people do not change, they need the circumstances to change.   The easiest thing is that you change, you adapt to the circumstances.

Very nice story about a king in India. I do not know if it is a true story or not. It might not be a true story. Is a very beautiful metaphor about a king. At that time, everybody would be walking barefoot.  The king did not like to walk barefoot outside because of thorns or stones so he ordered there to be pathways made of leather all over the country; for him to walk on; barefoot. So, there was going to be a lot of work and a lot of leather they were going to have to use. So, there was a minister who was very intelligent.  He came to the king and said may I make a suggestion? Don’t you think it is easier to put the leather on your feet instead of covering all the surface with leather for you to be able to walk on it comfortably? He convinced the king it would be much easier.  So, the king put the leather on his feet and said, “Wow, that is a great solution.” So, I do not know if that is a true story, but it is a metaphor of what we should do with our minds.

We can do this, but we choose not to even though it will complicate things much more. It will make it much more difficult.  It will create problems, because we must channel that. If we get angry and we do not forgive or we talk badly at someone, we feel resentful, or even if we feel guilty, sometimes. We must channel that vibration, that frequency, that energy. Our body, it goes through it…we must take, we must go through it, and we must channel it. So, it is all that. It is a lot of work.

They say it takes so many more muscles to frown than to smile. It is true. A lot more muscles to frown. It is very easy to smile. Some of you people will love to frown. I used to have–sometimes I used to have problems. So, in the universe, there are only two people with whom I have communication issues and I do not get along sometimes. Really must work on it; there are these two people. One is my mother.  The other is the mother of my son. We separated but we are trying to be friends, to keep the friendship alive. Because our son is the most important thing, right?

So, those are the two people I have so much difficulty with. Many times, when I talk, we have difficulty, frustration communication.  I end up frowning. Then, maybe for one or two hours, I am frowning.  I do not realize it…. Then, maybe I am in the elevator. I look at myself and whoa…! So, I try to open the frown, so I do not frown so much. It goes back, again, but a little bit less. Open, open, open and it really changes.  When you are like that, it changes your whole attitude, your state of mind.

Some people, they put their hands on their head, and ooohhhhhh. It is creating that energy, self-pity. Oh, very dangerous this one. It is extra. It is an extra burden, extra weight. The same way, experiences you do not like to happen to you in your life, things that are difficult for you to overcome… trauma, hard experiences that have a big impact on you, give you a post-traumatic experience… All these things- if we carry them with us… This happened to me. Now I cannot change…. I cannot move.  I cannot be a functional person. I cannot fuse, blend into society. If you have that kind of mentality, then, yes, it is going to be a backpack. It is going to be a burden.  It is going to be a weight on your back.

So, if you say, “This happened to me. I am going to use it to be a lesson, a learning experience in order to help other people to overcome that, too,” for example, then, you share that good part, that good aspect.

So, you must be able to overvalue the positiveness, most importantly.  The negative-ness, you do not have to buy into so much. Unless you want to learn from it.   Then, it is good. If you do not learn from it, then, no point in valuing it so much.  Most of the time, people overvalue it, negativity, so much, somehow. We are wired that way, somehow, a little bit.

The mother that raised her children by herself, passed them through university, five children something like that. After twenty years, she will not make headlines but the mother who kills her child in a moment of rage, that will make headlines. Even though it took one second to do it; and the other one took twenty years, of everyday effort.

That is what I am talking about, overvaluing negativity. We do that every day, but. we can change that habit, just focus on the positive things. Overvalue that! That is what is going to prevail in your everyday life. What you project, what you create, that is what you are going to attract. If you are afraid, then you are going to attract what you are fearful of. If you are confident, good, happy, then, you attract that.

There is a saying that I like very much. Prepare for the worst but expect the best. So that is very helpful but when I say prepare for the worst, it does not mean project the worst. Just be ready Be aware. Life is all about transformation. We are transforming.  We are changing. So, we must go with the flow. That is about adaptation. That is how it is meant to be. It is a process of learning, understanding, sharing, growing, of evolving.

1 Comment

Submit a Comment

More Posts

See Osel’s talk in Kopan

See Osel’s talk in Kopan

Tenzin Osel Hita gives a talk at Kopan Monastery, April 18, 2023, several days after the parinirvana of Lama Zopa Rinpoche.   En français:   En español:

Retreat with Ösel in Mexico

Retreat with Ösel in Mexico

Ösel will be leading a retreat in Mexico from Thursday March 30th till Sunday April 2nd 2023. For more information please visit the website of the event.

Subscribe for new posts

Get notified when a new story has been added.

You have Successfully Subscribed!