HOW TO HAVE A HAPPIER EVERYDAY LIFE

by | Mar 15, 2020 | Clear Light

Love? It always comes back to that, right?

Yeah, the five senses. We are all communicating through that. If you take that away, how are you going to communicate? We are all isolated in ourselves but, if we accept it, then, we can be connected to everything, to everybody because there is no separation. In the ultimate definition of reality, which is very difficult to understand conceptually, in the ultimate reality, there is no separation, right? There is no time, no distance and no separation.

For us, we like more the basic, conventional concept ideas because the ultimate reality is more difficult to understand. That aspect is different, right?

Normally, from our normal, small potato, Mickey Mouse point of view, then, we are alone. We must start there.  We must start understanding and accepting that. If we do not confront ourselves, if we do not confront our problems, our issues, our traumas, our difficulties, even the ones we ignore many times, we will be fooling ourselves.  We will be ignoring aspects of ourselves we do not want to take responsibility for or recognize. So, while we are doing that, it is very difficult. We do not recognize it is very difficult. So, many times, we need other people to help us to see that. That is why life is about sharing, about caring. It is about understanding, together, learning from each other. 

You do not learn from one person only. Nobody can teach you unless you learn. So, you are the one who is learning.  You cannot teach a baby to walk.  They must learn how to walk. You can show them an example from which they learn.  So, there are all these aspects.  Mainly, you must challenge yourself.  You must confront that aspect of yourself. Otherwise, you are just by-passing. You are taking refuge in something in order not to have to do that challenge. Eventually you are going to have to come back to that. One day, you are going to have to confront that aspect of yourself.

Life is all about learning.  The day we are dying, we are still learning how to die, the process of that even though we have done it many lifetimes. Like being a parent, even though we have done it many lifetimes. Or being born, it is not a new thing.  Every lifetime it seems like a new thing. The memory, the karmic memory is all there. The imprint is there but the gross mind is not able to see that subtle aspect. 

That is why it is so important to meditate because you sharpen the mind. You cut through the illusions. Then, you can perceive the very subtle aspects of life starting with yourself and your mind. That is why it is a training. It is not like from one day to another I am going to sit straight and do some mantras. I am going to look cool for people to think I am advanced.  Then, I am going to show-off because I studied this.  I studied that.  I went to this initiation. I did that retreat…dah, dah, dah, dah. Then, in the end, maybe you go somewhere.  You get stressed. Somebody says something.  You talk badly to him or her because you were not aware. You do not even recognize you are being unkind to someone. So, that would not be real practice because all this practice is complementary to the warm heart. The main practice is a warm heart. 

So, you have three aspects, if you want, according to Dharma. Three aspects if you want to get out of samsara or to be liberated or nirvana or whatever you want to call it. It is just a concept for now. At least you must know where you want to go, right? You must have an aim. When you walk, you look at the steps where you are going, the road you are going. You do not look far away. You cannot think about step ten if you have not taken step one. So, it is a process. So, there are three aspects to attain that according to Dharma.

One would be the method. So, what is the method? It is compassion, nyingje, bodhicitta. That is the method, true compassion. Complementary to that you have the wisdom, sherab. Then, the wisdom comes together with that. It helps you to put in practice properly, to give a direction, an aim, an objective. Then, together with that, you need the renunciation because, without renunciation, it is very difficult. You must be aware of samsara. Nge jung, right? To be aware of the reality, all the aspects of your mind, all that is going on outside together with everybody else. So, there are a lot of things that we must be coherent about, put into relativity with us because that is how we learn based on our perspective, because we are stuck in our body right? It is not a prison but, if we chose for it to be a prison, it can be a prison. 

So, that is why adapting is very important. Every moment, like when stress is coming or some difficulty, you stop. You breathe deeply. You ask yourself, “Do I really want to invite this guest in? Do I really want to give him the full power of my body, full control of my thoughts, full control of my actions, full control of my words? Do I really want to invite this guest in, an uninvited guest?”

Why would you? It is a destructive emotion that guest is bringing. The result is only going to be more suffering, more pain, more harm. Unless, of course, you go through it. You feel it. You understand it.  You learn from it. You correct that, like that, and change that. You make the effort not to repeat it.

Also, to apologize, I think apologizing is so important. Even if you are not wrong! It is true. Why? Because you give space for the person who did make the mistake to apologize to you. If you do not apologize, “Oh, I did not do anything. It is not my fault. I am not going to apologize. It is his fault.’’ If you do not give that space and that person, sometimes, if they are very proud, then, they will never apologize. So, that will be just stuck there. You will carry that. He will carry that. So, it is good to apologize. Always good to apologize.

It is always good to say, “Thank You.” It helps a lot to bring up the frequencies so people can communicate better. If we are grateful, it is very easy to think about others before yourself. For us to exist, there are so many conditions that must come into place for us to be able to do what we do every day. I mean, this body is just amazing. It is working 24/7 for us; at our disposition, our tireless servant, which we do not appreciate. We only think about the body when something is not working properly. Then, what is going on?…aaahhhhh. Otherwise, we do not listen to our body. It is so important to listen to the body because the body is working for us tirelessly, all the time. The heart starts beating up to two weeks after when you are conceived. From that moment on, it never stops beating. Now that is love. That is dedication. Wow!

Basically, create your base. You are your best friend. You have you. When you get to that frequency, you will attract that energy to you. It is very good sometimes, when meditating, to understand you have female, also, in you. Sometimes, when you are meditating, you visualize you are hugging your consort, your female part, your female side. It has a shape. It has a form.  You can embrace it because it is part of you.

You can say that. That is part of the visualizations even though I am not allowed to talk about it. This is just to help you have that idea because it is true. We are complete by ourselves. So never have that wrong concept, again.

But we are completely interdependent. We receive.  We give.  We are part of something. We are a functional aspect of a much larger collective of sentient beings with so many aspects, very complex. At the same time is very simple. I am not going to get into that. 

I am trying to help a little bit with the everyday life, everyday aspect of how to improve your life, of how to be happier.

1 Comment

  1. chris

    Thank you so much dear Ösel! This coming days are going to be a great oportunity to question our lives and to meditate on this essencial points of your post. May be i would like to suggest that a women can hug her male aspect! isn’it? :-). with much love

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