Sometimes it is good to just procrastinate. Completely unwind. Let go…   

You should not do it all the time, but, sometimes, it is good.

I think you can appreciate what I am saying. Procrastinating a little like that takes away tension… It gives you some space to be able to see. It helps you to be able to… relaaaax.  Then, you do not project so much all the time.

We tend to do that. We tend to condition everything. We want to impose the concept of our mind. We want to impose it on anything…. We want to impose it on everything. When we do that, then, boom! We feel safe.

“Oh, this image, this concept, is in a box now”.  “Finally, I feel safe. I am in control.”

I mean, of course, we do have to take responsibility up to a certain point but we, also, must have faith and trust in the universe. You know what I mean. We must have confidence that we are living what we are supposed to be living. If some hard situations come up, we need to feel sure that we can adapt to them. See what I am saying?   We need to know that we can use what happens in our favor so that we can advance even more.

How to do that?  That is the question. 

We use the tools that Dharma offers. Dharma provides the tools so we can be able to adapt in a positive way to any situation in life. That way, we can improve. Then, we can be happier.

That is what we are all searching for, right?  We are all looking for happiness…   Or maybe we should say we want to be not unhappy.  I mean, from my point of view, this is easier… It is not as hard to achieve wanting to not be unhappy.  So, if I am not unhappy, I am creating the cause may be to be happy. 

Sometimes, being happy is a little bit like the carrot, the donkey behind the carrot and the stick. We are following something but then, maybe we are not doing the right thing to achieve that happiness. Maybe we are doing the wrong thing….   We want one thing, but we are going in the opposite direction.  The worst part of it all is that we know it. We know we are going in the wrong direction… but we fool ourselves.  We convince ourselves that, “Oh, it is ok… for now”.  Do you know what I mean?

There are many ways of going around it. That is why, for me, at least, the first step is to check.

Check! Observe your thoughts.  Look at your emotions. Let them come up.  Allow them to flow.  Note them. Then, domesticate them.

Do you see what I mean? It should be so that you minimally are aware of the mechanism of what is happening.  You want to see the way the mind functions. Does it make sense?

Do not let an uninvited guest come in and take over. That is not wise. Why would you let the emotion of anger enter?  Why would you allow it to take over your whole body, your actions, your thoughts, and everything? Why?

Unless, of course, you give it that right because of the ego. The ego is another aspect, also.  We tend to protect the ego…  Or the ego protects itself maybe.

So, there is a defense-mechanism where we will get uptight about something. Like if we did something wrong. We know we did something that might have hurt someone else. Yet, we do not want to admit it. If somebody tries to talk about it, maybe that ego will flash trigger that mechanism. Then, we will get uptight.  We will try to change the subject… Or we will get emotional.  Perhaps we do not even know why. We cannot see clearly what happened.

If you check, then, you will understand.   “Oh, you know, I am trying to avoid confronting this aspect of myself. That may be why I have done it many times. It is too hard to confront it.” 

That is an issue when you do not confront these things like…childhood trauma, or certain things that happened to you, or certain things that you have done, or that you had no choice but you had to do.  There are many situations, many different details in life.

The issue, the real concern is not about, “Oh, it happened to me… that is it.”

You are carrying a weight that is not yours. Ok?

The concept is to be able to use whatever happened to you as fuel.  Use it as a catapult.  You want to transform it into something that will help you to advance even more so you understand yourself. Then, we are closer to not being unhappy.

4 Comments

  1. Andy Wistreich

    I really love this post. It’s actually what I need right now when I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by the intensity of everything that’s going on in in me and around me. ‘Sometimes it’s good to just procrastinate.’ So helpful. I always push too hard. But you need to have space just to be. Thank you, dear Osel, great advice!

  2. Rosalyn Williams

    Dear Osel’la
    It’s hard to admit it as I didn’t really see myself as an angry person before.
    Just recently I decided not to be angry . However recognising I am angry and why one reason could be because I feel let down because their values are not my values. Not intolerant but more hurt.
    That’s also slightly true with friends but also more true with political situations . In other words I have a tendency for my view to be the right one. Not realising
    You have to spend your precious time reading a lot if you want to know what’s going on politically.

    I am not disappointed with my anger because it makes me think about the situation and become less
    naive and idealistic.

    I like that advice to domesticate my anger.

    I know there are many many people with more flexible minds than me, but I am pleased that at this late stage in life I am looking at my anger – becoming more aware that ‘my values stand alone’ and are not being applied to the different situations, and then at some point -come to a degree of resolution ( I have no idea what’s going on really) !. returning to a peaceful or some level of happy mind.
    It’s like projecting my mind out there when I could become wiser .quietly absorbing others minds and making adjustments.
    Thank you Osel’la for bringing this to my attention.

  3. Stephie Brennan

    Thank you so much for these incisive comments about putting off dealing with the angry, hurt or not so nice parts of oneself. So useful.

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