Always keep very close to your heart how special you are. How amazing and magical, and don’t ever get depressed or feel alone or like a victim. It is very important for your own spiritual growth and for everybody else’s benefit to be very aware of this kind of mind or habit or pattern that we create unconsciously. Because otherwise you become small, you make yourself small, and then you forget about your potential.
It is important to have self-compassion. Of course, it is very important to have compassion toward other people all the time, to be aware of other people, to be empathic.
Our security or our self-assurance, our self-worth, is often based on what we feel society thinks of us. Even sometimes for our self-worth we have to compare ourselves to other people and even in some occasions put people down. So it is very important to be aware of this pressure, society’s pressure, and not only give others kindness and compassion but also give it to yourself.
If you forget this kind of self-compassion, you empty yourself by caring too much for others then you expect some kind of reward. Then if you don’t get that, then you feel betrayed or disappointed.
If we are able to have self-compassion then we are more full of self-love. Then we can really give without expecting anything in return and if people don’t react like we expect them to react then we don’t feel betrayed, depressed or alone. So self-compassion, self-worth, is very important always. The same kind of kindness that you would give to someone that you love or care for, you have to also give to yourself. That is true warm-heartedness, like His Holiness Dalai Lama uses that term “warm heart.” It is not only for the outside, it is also for the inside. It starts from the inside.
It is very important. Don’t let your mind misguide you. Don’t get led by depressive thoughts or victimizing yourself or making yourself small and feeling alone. Don’t do this. It is really not healthy and not beneficial at all because you are a big boss.
You have a lot of responsibilities starting with your own mind, your own consciousness, and all the sentient beings and metabolisms and organisms in your body that are affected by your thoughts and by your feelings and emotions. They are affected by the vibration of your voice and what you say, so if you say, “Oh, I am sick. I am unhappy. I am not well,” your body will believe it and react to that and give it back to you twice, so it is making it double.
If you are going to use the holy speech that you have, at least use it in a beneficial way starting with being conscious about the body and the vibration that when we speak how it affects the body and this vibration will affect us, and vice versa. What we give, we receive.
Extracted from Adapting Positively to Any Circumstance, a talk Ösel gave at Institut Vajra Yogini in the south of France.