Many times, we find ourselves in a situation where we deal with things… how at that moment we think is the easiest way. However, what we are doing is complicating matters greatly.

It is like this, for example, with lying. Often, to get out of some situation, we will lie. We know that by lying we are complicating matters much more than if we had just said the truth and let go but, still, we do it. 

Or perhaps there are many times when we know we did something wrong, but we do not want to say we are sorry because we are too proud. We know that by not apologizing we are going to have to carry that burden.  We are going to feel bad about it. It is going to be an issue for us in the future, but we still choose not to apologize because… ‘No, he should apologize first,’ or whatever. It does not matter the reason, ok?  We remain entrenched with our decision.  We remain proud.  We do not let go.

So that is why forgiving is important.   Do you see what I mean?   It is not about forgiving the other person. Forgiving gives yourself that freedom of not having to carry the responsibility of the mistake the other person did. Also, you are allowing the other person to forgive themselves. Do you understand?

When you forgive someone, they can forgive themselves.  For example, if you make a mistake, and, if the person does not forgive you… then, sometimes, it can be heavy even if you apologize. Do you understand what I mean about the energy that happens in this kind of situation? 

For example, it becomes like an energetic ball.   I call it, the energy ball.

Let us take this example of two people who are angry at each other.  If I say something harsh to the other person, they will take the ball and make it into a snowball by answering back… with the ego inflamed. So, like this, it just keeps becoming bigger as we throw this dark energy ball back and forth. Eventually, even a tiny, steadily growing snowball that rolls down a hill can destroy a house. Right? Completely! It gets so big. So, this emotional energy ball is a little bit like that.

So, the question is, once we are in this inflamed situation, how do we neutralize it?

If you have compassion if you have empathy, then, you want to transform it. So, when you see someone who is talking badly, who is shouting, who is unhappy, who is criticizing, you understand it is a direct reflection that they are suffering.  You know that they have a large conflict within themselves.

So, that is the first reason for you to have empathy for that person. Due to your compassion, your empathy, you want to transform that energetic ball.  Do you see? 

So, then that is where you must transform it.  So, when they say something harsh, you transform it. You neutralize it.  Then, when you give it back, you give it back in a different aspect, with a different vibration, and a different frequency. Then, it gets neutralized. Then, suddenly Boom! There is no negativity.  That ball of negativity disappears. 

Please, let me know if this makes sense to you.


  1. Andy Wistreich

    I think the internal pressure to lie often comes from fear. Either your parents or your culture have made a certain behaviour a ‘no-no’, so you lie to give the impression that you didn’t do that thing. So, to tell the truth takes courage. Sometimes it takes the courage to go against the pressure of your whole culture or tradition. Sometimes you bring shame upon the whole family by revealing what you did wrong. So much depends on culture. So, while cultures are so driven by fear, the individual needs to be very strong and brave to admit to certain mistakes. And, for the future, let’s create cultures that are driven by love, not fear.

  2. Kerri Hewitt

    To not retaliate & remember they’re suffering & watch the situation while being present with breathing into it, not needing to responde straight away trying to recal it’s purifying karma that I’ve done too but not being a door mat as it’s ok to say the truth of the situation when calm also & move on I guess reminds me of work, haha.

  3. Rosalyn Williams

    I have a story I couldn’t rescue myself but I got rescued.
    I was talking on Zoom to a friend about vaccinations.
    She was going to have the first vaccination that becomes available in the UK and I am not going to have a vaccination at any price.
    Then tentatively I share some minor reasons why I am not having a vac and then say but I have not got a scientific background then my friend said I have a scientific background. So then we argue about an article in the Lancet which was eventually withdrawn ( the medical journal was proved wrong) , then I couldn’t see a way out but by way of diversion I said I hate doctors and she was so happy Oh your frightened of needles and was so happy and I was so happy and the tension was gone. So have learnt a little lesson when someone is so happy I need to let it be.

  4. Alina Peftieva

    This is very relevant to a situation in my life at the moment, and I feel it is defiantly true that with forgiveness comes freedom. Reading this I realize it is harmful to hold negativity towards a person who is “at conflict with themselves”. I recognize that I’m annoyed by their behavior because to some extend I’m at conflict with myself too. That realization helps me be more compassionate in my thoughts and actions. I think it’s important to remind myself of this, and not fall back into unhealthy patterns.

  5. Rosalyn Williams

    Alina, I just checked if I commented last time and saw your post which was very helpful thanks

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