We have both. We have the male aspect plus the female aspect within us. When we were conceived, at the beginning, there is no sex. It is only later that it happens. The base of the fetus is the same.
Because we fear rejection, we do not take the initiative. Sometimes we fear making mistakes. We cut our creativity. We shut down our creativity because we fear making mistakes.
So, many times, we set ourselves up for rejection basically because we have that fear. Our hope attitude is based around that fear. That can be sensed. That energy can be felt. It is like evolution and nature have been created in such a way that there are many, many aspects of the human form, of life, that we are not aware of, very, very subtle ones. So, these things, they are all part of that. There are lots of details of this aspect. So, basically, many times, if we are not comfortable with ourselves, if we do not love ourselves, if we feel we need something from the outside, that we are not complete in other words, then, that is, also, going to reflect in our energy, our attitude, right?
So, that is, also, something that is not attractive. Whichever sex that it is. That is how it works. You are attracted to somebody who is very comfortable with themselves. Who really loves themselves. Who does not need anybody, who is not a needy person. Or physical contact or I want to be next to you. Like you get attached to the formless. That is what I am talking about. The feeling that many people mistake for the word love. The feeling that the other person makes you feel. You get attached to that. “I love you.” No, you do not love that person. You love the feeling that they create in you or that you have when you are in the presence of that person. So, you love that. Then, “I love you only if you stay only with me.” Then, boom, you see! There is a condition. Many times, the result can be suffering. So, then, if it is true love, then, there can be no suffering because it is unconditional love, universal love, right?
So, the suffering does not come from the love. It comes from the attachment, the expectations, from the idealizations. So, basically, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. We do that a lot. We tend to do that. The same way we want to be happy, everybody wants to happy but the method we are going on about to become happy is completely the opposite. It is going to give us the opposite result. We are going to end up suffering because of the intention: I want to be happy, me. So, it is self-centered. So, if you have that concept, it is impossible to really be happy because you are only thinking about this concept of me.
The whole part of being dissatisfied is because you are not living the moment. When you live in the present, you have gratitude. The priority is not going to be me. It is going to be everybody else. When you have that, then, you are super-happy because you do not multiply that self-pity. Anything good is multiplied. Anything bad is not so bad. So that is, also, one of the main practices within Dharma is to be aware of your motivation. You love yourself. You help yourself. You learn. You grow. You take care of yourself in order to help other sentient beings to be able to achieve the same. To understand the true nature of your mind. To understand your potential. All these aspects are a practice of Dharma.
So, going back to that part…creating the right conditions to attract the person you are looking for. Maybe it is not a person. Maybe you just have to be with yourself. If you are lonely alone, you are going to be lonely anywhere. You are going to be lonely with anyone. That is how it is. You must learn to enjoy your company. You must be able to because we are born alone, and we die alone. That is a fact. I am sorry I must give it to you like that, but it is how it happens. OK?
We can only communicate to others through the five senses, if you think about it. Unless, of course, you practice meditation and you reach telepathic realizations. You can talk to aliens.
Otherwise, it is all about looking into each other’s eyes. To investigate the window of the soul. The eyes are the window of the soul. Ooooohh, watch out. I am looking at you.
No, I am just kidding. Through a hug, for example, a smile, even cooking some food, playing some music, or singing or talking. There are so many aspects of communication, of sharing of what we have, what we feel… painting. We are expressing the magic of life. ‘’Wow, that is so artistic!’’ Why is it so artistic? Because it represents what we are looking for which is the moment, now. This happening. The magic that is happening. We forget about it because we get used to it. Then, we start looking everywhere else. We do not realize what we are looking for our whole life is right in front of us. Well, inside of us, the whole time. So, when we stop, we sit down. We stop searching, thinking and worrying and all that. Then, a real voice within…. you can hear it, the voice of the heart, the gut feeling, an intuition.